I'm lost, its been a couple weeks and my brain still isn't working at full capacity again, there's times where I almost collapse to my knees. November 18, 2014 My best friend killed himself. Him and I were as close as two friends could get. Our friendship was built on many things but one thing we did was talk on the phone
Since the beginning of our friendship we'd spend hours on the phone with each other, which we both thought was funny seeing as we are both guys and that's something you don't really here guys do a lot. I'd call him when I saw anything interesting, I'd call him when I went to the store, I'd call even if I was going to grab something in the car and it only would take a minute. In addition to the time talking on the phone, we would hang out frequently, text often, we had a podcast together. We spent so much time together and now I feel so lost. I have no idea what I am gonna do with myself. If you add up all the time we talked, hung out, and texted each week it would be around 24 hours. A full day every week I'd spend with my best friend and now nothing.
We'd share everything thing with each other, we only fully trusted each other there was no one else who we could share our biggest secrets with. Now what. No one, even his family, was as close to him as I was so there is no one who fully understands what I'm going through.
Everything reminds me of him, the memories we shared, the laughs, the cries, the two of us went to hell and back as friends, which only made our friendship stronger. I knew if I was cornered he'd come out swinging. I thought by now it would be easier, that I wouldn't spend as much time crying but the pain is still as strong. Will it ever go away? Will I ever be fully happy again? I can't even put into words fully what our friendship was. I just don't know what to do, Please, Please, Someone, throw me a rope because I'm falling!