sounds like you were very close to him. its alright, i have a best friend who we do practically the same kind of thing. so i know how strong that bond can be. its like the closesness resembles that of the closest twins..
and knowing how it is to lose someone i still tear up when thinking on him, but it does get better..
have you had a chance to get closure?


maybe writting about it as many times as you need, or if you have another creative source, maybe working through it in that way might help(i create songs on my computer. and when i was still in the shattered heartache of the stages, i created kind of like a memoriable to the person, and ended up buy a golden dog tag with an engraving on it, so i could carry with me. it now is in a jewerly type chest that i keep all valued/sentimentals in. i had it hangIng on the inside of my door for awhile too.