Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I think that one's expectations after giving advice can lead one to feeling bad. Sometimes the help is helpful right away, sometimes it takes awhile for someone to put help into use, and sometimes help is not helpful to that other person.
But I come at it from the other direction -I would rather not have any help at all than have the person who wanted to be helpful mad/resentful at me when I don't use or want their type of help.
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Yeah, I think for me, I am fine with people who don't want help or don't want to change. I get ticked off with the people who claim they want help and claim they want to change, but then get angry when people offer the exact help they claim to want. It's like that nail in the head video. Someone is complaining endlessly about a headache, but won't take the ****ing nail out of their head. Oh, your head hurts -- take out the nail. Nooooo, the nail is NOT the problem. Yes, it ****ing well is. If you don't want to take the nail out, fine. Just don't pretend like the nail is not the problem and don't act like I am stupid for thinking the nail IS the problem. That is when I get ticked off -- when I am treated like I am a horrible person or stupid when I point out the nail.