I imagine T living his life. He was wife and children, he has life, he has sex, he has holidays with his family and he has his job. He has many clients, some men and some women but women go to therapy more often then men. All of us sometimes are tired of our job no matter how much we like it. All of us see money in our job no matter how much we love our jobs, we wouldnt work for free.
T sees us once a week but works everyday and sees someone every hour.

Why the hell we have illusion we are special? Why the hell we have delusions that T loves us? Or if he loves and I think its just attachment to client why do we imagine he lloves only us when there are many other clients too? Yes we dont see how T talks to others, we dont know how much email he gets for a week from his clients.
Do you really think that T has a time to think about all of his clients during a week if he has his own life and his own problems? Maybe his children are ill at this moment.

If your T is so attractive and most of clients used to have transference have you ever thought how much of his clients are trying to seduce him? Maybe he even doesny have tp be very attractive and women will love him because he is a T. He has so much attention from clients.
Maybe he wants f*** some of them esspecially if he feels lonely and there are attractive wwomen desperate for sex with him.
He can feel llike a movie star. So admired from his clients.

Do you know what is worse? That some of delusions victimswant to die because of pain caused by transference. You go to T to get help but it leadsyou to suicide. Not everyone but I have read posts like that.

Have you never felt like a teen fanning about a movie star? It really remindsme of this.

I didnt want to make anyone feel bad, I dont judge anyone. Its how I feel and what I think. Im also victim of my own delusions like many of us who love their Ts sso much when they evendont know who they are.

Sorry for grammar.

Its just my thoughts that I wanted to share. These are thoughts which make me want tto run away from therapy.