Hello, Angelwings1175.
bad childhood
depression
PTSD
anxiety
recent (?) separation from fiancé
holiday season
more???
This is all way too much for you to handle on your own!
PsychCentral's Crisis links page
Please keep posting, Angelwings.
__________________
My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.