I just wanted to say..about the pup! When I rescued my dog 3 yrs ago let's just say I wasn't in an ideal situation, and there were a handful of people who didn't think it was a great idea, or who maybe thought I couldn't take care of her properly..who knows, there will always be outside opinions that you may be subjected to. Especially when mental illness is present. There will always be critical judgement when something is done 'out of the ordinary'. Having a puppy is such a gift! They are wonderful, loyal creatures that bring love, energy, and can really help you stay centered in who you actually are. Not everything done when in 'mania' is torture afterwards, reflecting does help for the future, but it is just as valuable to be grateful for the some of the actions that also enrich our soul. Good luck!!