Thanks everybody, it really helps to hear all the perspectives on it. And to clarify, I don't think he actually said anything about my scores - it's not like he said, "Oh, wow, I thought you were smarter than that!" I just don't remember him responding at all, more like that awkward silence where you just decide to move on from a topic.

I will try to bring it up this week. I need to think about the best way to approach it. It's hard, because I don't want him to say, "of course I think you're smart!" as a reply... because it feels like a) I'm asking for that, and b) it's just a reassuring response (not an accurate statement), c) I don't think it's really about what he thinks here (whether he thinks I'm smart or not isn't going to change whatever the reality of the situation is).

So I don't know what I want, other than to go back in time and do a better job of saying, "Nope - SAT scores are more than 20 years old and not relevant, so let's drop it!".

Petra5ed - Oh geez, I'm sorry.... that was an awful thing for your T to say. ((Petra5ed)) - I'd feel rotten about that too. I can't remember what my T said, but there was something that gave me a similar reaction.... I came home and thought, "You know, it's your JOB, but it's my LIFE." *Sorry.*

JaneTennison1 - Sorry you got pushed too Yeah, I don't find feeling bad about myself to be motivating. It seems like it might be for some people, but I'm the same way, it makes me want to curl up in bed and just never leave the house!

Thanks GrowlyCat - I hadn't heard that about depression, but it makes sense. And I had a lot of crap going on with my family (that we were just discussing in that session). That actually makes me feel a little better. (I also secretly think I would have done much better if it were UNTIMED. I'm just not a super-speedy person, and I tend to want to be precise and get things right, so... timed tests are not the best for me. I spend too long working things out and double checking!)

Thanks for sticking up for me Simmering! In all fairness, I don't think he said anything to put me down... I think that's all coming from me !

ScarletPimpernel - Thanks for the long reply! (And, I relate to alot of the stuff you post too!) I would have totally freaked out with a reply like "we'll talk about it Tuesday" too... because to me, the message I hear is that the other person is so upset, that they can't even deal with it right now... ! I'm glad your T emailed you back to let you know there was nothing to worry about though - phew!!!

Thanks, and you're right... I've got alot of abandonment stuff going on in my past too, including a past T who said he wouldn't quit on me, that I'd have to fire him (!!!). That obviously didn't work out. Anyway, you're right... that one little negative thing is so easy to latch on to - it's frustrating, b/c as I said, I was actually feeling pretty good afterwards, as T had been really helpful with alot of my childhood stuff.

"Maybe ask him why SAT scores are important to him?" -- Thanks! Yes, I think that's a good way to start the conversation. And, you're right - high school was a rough time, especially with a chaotic, crazy family. Thank you!

A Red Panda - Thanks. I was sort of wondering if something like this might be going on. I'm not sure though... I asked about something similar awhile ago, and he basically told me that was wasn't and wouldn't screw around with me like that, that he was usually pretty honest and upfront with his thoughts. So, who knows... that all makes sense, but if that's what he was doing, it feels a little cruel! Thanks for letting me know that it takes you a few days to process stuff too! I'm glad it's not just me! (BTW your avatar picture is so unbelievably cute!)

Thanks MissBella - Honestly, I don't think he actually said anything, I think this is mostly coming from my brain . I don't think he'd be that mean!

Thanks!