First and foremost, we don't control life. Things happen. We suffer, we get hurt, we have to move on eventually. Hurt can take a long time to heal.
But to be angry is only hurting yourself. It is causing you to have a skewed view of the world around you.
Forgiveness has to come.
It does start in your mind, but your body is also connected with it. I'm not a therapist, I can't give great advice. It took me years to evolve into a better human being that isn't self centered and only thinking about my own hurts and problems.
Even my love was self centered.
Love is not jealous, love is kind. We suffer when bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people every day. Does that mean we should curl up in a ball and give up?
Many people feel hurt, pain, emotional and physical every day. But they are choosing to not lose hope, to see the beauty in the world, not the cruelness and ugliness.
If we focus on the negative all day, our minds will be filled with the garbage that you see around you.
After 6 or more months with a counselor, I realized it is me that has to do the work. It is good to talk as much as you need to, but there comes a time to realize that you are here, in this moment, not in the past or future. All you can control is your reactions. When an angry thought comes into your mind, place a stop sign there. Think, is this thought helping me or hurting me, what is it trying to tell me. Look at the bigger picture.
There is a balance and right now, the scale seems to be weighing down in the unhelpful painful feelings. You need to find ways now that tip the scale back into a bearable way of managing your feelings.
Start with small things, like a short walk when you feel this way. Favourite music, foods, anything that comforts you.
If you keep your mind on your own health and well being, you will keep the hurtful feelings away, at least long enough to train your brain to think somewhat differently, a little step at a time.