Hello Rachael_S: My opinion would be that your mom is correct. You really need to get with a therapist & / or pdoc in order to figure out what this is all about & what needs to be done to address it. As far as the question of inpatient care goes, if you get in to see a T or pdoc they can assess your appropriateness for inpatient treatment. Or, in the alternative, you could go to the emergency department of an area hospital if you feel you're in imminent danger of harming yourself or someone else.

As far as what you could do now to help yourself, my signature statement below describes my perspective. Rather than trying to force myself not to think about something, or trying to stuff it back down, I let the thoughts come forth. I conceptually breathe into them & accept them with compassion & lovingkindness. Then I allow them to drift away when they are ready.

I like to think of difficult thoughts as ugly little trolls. They may not be pretty to look at. But they cannot harm me. They can only trick me into harming myself, if I allow them to. Learning to "hold one's seat", or maintain equanimity in the face of emotionally charged thoughts is a challenge & a great skill to cultivate. It arises from the Buddhist tradition.