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Originally Posted by BlackSheep79
Sorry it took me all week to get to these articles, I really wanted to read them, thank you so much. This explains so much for me and answers so many questions that I have had. I'm 35, the BP started at 15, and I was diagnosed at 27 and have been on meds since. The past I'd say four years that I have really paid attention to I have noticed some issues, and it is progressively getting worse. I have a B.S. and a M.S. While I was finishing up my B.S. I was just diagnosed, I had a photographic memory, could multi-task like you wouldn't believe. Now I'm a mess. I have a great job, it's not in my field and only requires a high school diploma. The amount of work I accomplish is progressively slowing down over the past few years. I don't have the memory like I use to. I have trouble focusing and keeping on track. I literally feel like I'm am dropping IQ points everyday. I can't even handle a job that requires a highschool diploma, how am I going to be able to do a job in my field? I feel like my education was a waste. Here I am with $45,000 in student loans that I am paying for, for what? I graduated with a 4.0. I don't know what to do, this has bothered me for years. I do believe by what I read in those articles that it is the disease, but part of me feels that this has to be the medication also. I have been on several drugs, but I have been on Lamictal the entire time. If I have had BP since 15, then why did this start after I started with the medications? These are just questions I have. I'm lost and I feel hopeless. I see my pdoc on the 19th, I want to get his take on this as well. I want to get as much information as I can on this. Again I want to thank you for these articles, and if you have any other good information I really would like to read them.
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I forget where I post things but, I think meds increase problems.
I also have seen a drastic decline. But mostly in the last 5 years, and the last 3 years is worse. I had an amazing memory as a kid. I never needed a day planner or reminders for anything. I was an avid reader. I was able to focus and stay on task.
Although not diagnosed, I also was a very depressed teen. Until I was 18. Then I was a very happy teen and believed I was cured of my depression. I also believed a secret organization was out to kill me, the chosen one, and destroy my neighborhood. And I had magical powers. But I got straight As and had friends.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 30. But at 21 years old I dropped out of collage. I tried to write. This is when my focus problems started. I once wrote 150,000 words in one month when I was 24. Other times I'd go months without doing any writing. These problems have grown so now I can't read for very long. I'd rather look at pictures and short captions when possible. It's depressing.
So, I'm not medicated and I don't want to be. But my point is, I think the medications suppress the moods but increase the cognitive function issues. I think that some people are really sensitive to those side effects. But I also believe bipolar is progressive and so even someone like me not on medication I have the same cognitive problems of people on medication. But maybe people on meds get them faster.
Anyway, that's my opinion only I'm not a doctor. Just saying what I experience.