I am facing an uncertain future and I am so tired of having to fight my corner. I wish I could give up and become a hermit. I vacillate between feelings of victimisation, where I am an innocent bystander in my own life, or alternatively feelings of intense guilt accompanied by a sense that everything bad that happens to me is because I deserve it, I have brought all my woes upon myself. I am feeling foolish and worried, I don't know what to do or how to get out of this mess. I've been in all sorts of messes before, but this time I can't help feeling there is no escape, no way back. I had a decent life and now I've ruined it.