I had a bit of a relapse and last week recommitted to recovery... My t expects me to have gained weight this week and I am so scrared to see it! (I don't do blind weight). I'm scared to have lost and I'm scared to have gained and I just don't want to go to my t tomorrow!

I once told my friend "You can only imagine what its like to have your whole body screaming at you that youre so ugly and fat and that you have to stop eating so much/certain foods and just IGNORING it. And your body just yells louder and louder till it rings in ur ears all day and its hard to hear other things and to concentrate on anything else. And the screaming is just STUCK there cuz ur not doing what it says Till you get to a point where acting on the screaming isnt an option for you and not acting on it is just burning out your insides.