ok I must admit my sex life with my husband is better then its ever been. I now am making love to him and not just doing "it" and being aware at the back of my mind that it's with him and not some fantasy thing.

I would never cuddle up afterwards, I use to just want to get on and forget it. But the other day, I was having this strange sensation of real love for him and so glad that I wasn't doing this alone with my mind but then its like I asked myself a question, my head said "do you wish this was happening with T" (whose female) and then I was imagining her and holding her and feeling so good that I/we had shared this most wonderful love with each other.

I then switched that thought of and went back to the awareness of it being my husband. I didn't beat myself up for having this thought, I was trying to work out if it was a babys merger with its mother that when occurs as an adult becomes mixed up with sexual feelings?

But hey hang on itsn't that something that is part of the opedal stage??? we have sexual feelings for our parents at some stage? Is this what is happening for me now?

Is this something that needs to be mentioned to T??? Is it a marker for where I am in my relationship development within the theraputic relationship???Have I passed the wanting to be rocked to a toddler stage???

SO many questions, so many thoughts