Thanks. I need to seek help. Its punching and slapping now but a few years ago i used to work as an electrician at a factory and used to carry all sorts of sharp blades. I was in a really bad place at the moment. one day i accidentally cut myself stripping a wire. The next day i did it on purpose which kept escalating.. This has stopped but i still do other things to hurt myself or even deny myself things i want to do.

I dont like this. I dont ever talk about this with anyone except for my girlfriend and her way of dealing with me is making threatening comments about how she doesnt want me to hit myself and that she doesnt want me to carry my depression throughout the relationship, depressing her too or that i dont really need therapy because my problems are simple and i just need to learn how to deal with them. The problem is i agree with her most of the time because i feel all my issues and problems, small or big, are my fault.