fogboxer- try the meds you sound like me about 4 yrs ago. i hate taking all the hand full of meds but life is so much better now with meds yeah i have the occasional swing up and down. but nothing like the hell i was in before. call your dr try the zyprexa. or if that dosen't work try a mood stabilizer like neurontin or cymbalta. i am on both and can tell a diff when i miss a dose. pm me if you feel like talking. onyx