Have you gone to a GP or OBGYN? I've had similar pain due to a simple yeast infection that had no other symptoms.

You don't have to answer this, but why is he unable to do oral? The reason I'm asking is, my clitoris is sensitive too, and direct touching is painful (often even indirect touching with skin and/or clothing in between by my partner is too much), but oral, if done right, is intensely pleasurable.

Some of this seems like it could be a muscle tension problem due to psychological factors. Maybe if you just concentrate on relaxing those muscles, it would help. Alternatively, discuss with your T why you're reacting this way, in terms of the tension. Also adding a water-based lubricant could help.

This sounds really frustrating, and I hope you're able to find a solution soon!