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Originally Posted by unicornlady
Have you gone to a GP or OBGYN? I've had similar pain due to a simple yeast infection that had no other symptoms.
You don't have to answer this, but why is he unable to do oral? The reason I'm asking is, my clitoris is sensitive too, and direct touching is painful (often even indirect touching with skin and/or clothing in between by my partner is too much), but oral, if done right, is intensely pleasurable.
Some of this seems like it could be a muscle tension problem due to psychological factors. Maybe if you just concentrate on relaxing those muscles, it would help. Alternatively, discuss with your T why you're reacting this way, in terms of the tension. Also adding a water-based lubricant could help.
This sounds really frustrating, and I hope you're able to find a solution soon!
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I went to a doctor a month or two ago for birth control and they did an exam…don't tell me I have to go through that again so soon. Being violated in that way isn't going to help and there's never anything wrong. I would be surprised if they even believe me when I describe the issue. Because it's so abnormal to be fine with intercourse usually but be in a lot of pain during foreplay.
No matter how much he says he's going to try, I just know he'll never be able to do oral. It's too bad I've only experienced it once before and I was drunk…I may never get to experience it now. Basically, he's on the autism spectrum and certain textures bother him…and one of those textures is the texture around my vagina and clitoris. So yeah, oral can happen…for a few seconds.
I know when I used to masturbate, I always had skin or clothes in between and it worked well. I just can't get the same feeling with him even though he's finally started to figure out what I mean by not touching it directly. I don't understand why it's so hard to figure out…I guess because I'm a freak and all the other women he's been with can be touched directly like normal people.
I mean, unless his former partners were faking it, he easily got them off on the first or second try. And now, dozens and dozens of tries later, not only am I not feeling any closer, it now hurts more than I can stand.
And of course he's the sort that he isn't an insensitive jerk and cares about my pleasure, but he might as well be asking me why I'm such a horrible selfish person who can't orgasm easily and immediately. I just wish he could just be happy with me getting him off and not touching me anymore.
And it doesn't help that almost every time we're alone we have sex. Even if I go into thinking I don't want to, I get convinced that I do. I guess deep down I do, because I suspect that I have a high but very suppressed sex drive. But I have to suppress it because there's no way to satisfy it. He can't do it and even if I can on my own, I don't feel right doing it. If I masturbate, I certainly won't get off with him because then my body won't need it. I don't think my body needs release much anymore anyway.
I could stand sex if I could enjoy it. I mean, I know I'll never have an orgasm, but I might be ok with it if there's less pain at least. If only I weren't such an honest person…I'd just fake an orgasm for his sake.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Sounds like you need more lube.
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I get extremely wet though…way more wet than I ever do on my own and I don't experience that level of pain on my own. I guess I can just pour on more lube but then there's no grip at all.
Maybe he should just go have sex with someone normal who can enjoy it (or can at least fake it).
I don't have anyone to talk to about this other than him. And it just distracts him and hurts his feelings which just confirms my feelings of being a monster. Basically, I give up. I'll just do whatever he wants and just make sure as much as I can that I don't get pregnant.