Well if you are very wet already, no point in adding lube!

You're clearly not a monster or a horrible selfish person...I doubt I would have the patience and perseverance to try again and again with the problems you're describing.

I wish I knew more! I'm sure there's someone out there who will believe you and work with you. But you're right, it probably wouldn't be worth it to go to a regular GP/OBGYN. Maybe with some research you could find an appropriate specialist?