That's got to hurt. I feel your pain.

At the end of the day you need to look after your own mental health and wellbeing.

This has, understandably taken an enormous toll on you.

And right now you're not coping with the constant reminders of him.

If you can't get into intensive therapy to try and process what has happened, you might want to consider the options of moving on ....

It's hard. But you need to take care of yourself!