Wing,

I am glad it went well and I think you mentioned something really insightful in the middle of the thread.

You said that your absences from such functions at H's job were conspicuous.

I agree that the situation is asymmetrical.

All you need to do is show up and not have spinach on your teeth. You are not aiming to be in the top 5% of people who are very gregarious. You are just trying not to be conspicuously absent. You are trying to be part of 95% who show up and behave appropriately without being the life of a party. And you are succeeding in it! And success breeds success - as you said, next time it will be easier!