LaraHugs,

You aren't the only one that is faced with this situation. My wife told be a couple of years ago that she "didn't need sex", that she felt safe, fulfilled, loved, without needing to resort to sex. We've been together for almost 20 years and I found it hard to accept. I mean, it was unilateral with no discussion. I had no say in the matter, and like your husband I'm a horny guy that'll masturbate if I can't get intimate with my wife. What was worse was at the time I had been seeing a sex therapist to help me deal with the loss of sensation in my penis due to a back injury. The therapist was recommending that "we" work on finding other methods of sexual activity that still provides us satisfaction. The timing of my wife's declaration couldn't have been worse.

We are at a point that sex is solely on my wife's terms, when she wants and feels like it. If I ask or pursue at all, she withdraws completely and I am unable to even sit beside her, hold her hand or kiss her cheek.

So as time passes, I try to accept that I still love her dearly, that sex is not that important, and I would lose more than I would gain if I pursued sex elsewhere. As most guys would, I cope through masturbation and hoping for a hint of sexual interest from my dear wife.