Too triggering for me to share my experience, but I have been a victim too.

One time my child ran into the street while a car was coming and I yanked her back and smacked her butt. Felt horrible and cried about it later , but I was crazy with fear and wanted to impress that she never do that again. I learned a lesson from it, too. You have to watch your kids every second and have hold of their hand in a vice grip (figure of speech) when crossing the street while constantly intoning "look both ways, then look again".

I don't believe I should have gone to jail for that, but abusing is different with a different dynamic. A SO who looks away and doesn't report it is guilty too.