Quote:
Originally Posted by littlemiss1970
I understand completely what you are going thru. I'm on five meds and still find no happiness or joy out of life. One of the meds I'm on cymbalta seems to take the edge off but I still get sui thoughts here and there. My pdoc is at a loss of what to do with me. I'm actively In therapy, have done dbt, have been impatient 6 times and am involved in aa. I have an optimistic heart but my head says otherwise. Going to the hospital isn't fun but it's totally worth it if yr life is in danger. NEVER hesitate to go if you feel sui. They can get yr meds stabilized and keep you safe. I hope you find some relief soon. It's really tough...be kind to yrself
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When I got sober and joined AA after awhile my depression got much worse because I was no longer self medicating. I really had high hopes that if I was going to meeting everyday, working the steps and all that, going to group therapy, one on one therapy, that my depression would get better. It didn't. In twenty years of treatment the only thing that seems to work is if a med is working and often they haven't worked or they quit working. Twenty years of meditation, 12 steps, CBT, you name it......it was and is very disappointing and frustrating. Maybe my depressions would have been much worse, I dunno. But they have gotten worse in recent years, much worse even after all that treatment. I just keep trying. What else are we to do.