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Dec 09, 2014, 10:55 AM
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,592
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Secretum
I made a list of my strengths. I was surprised to find that I could think of quite a few. Here they are:
-my intelligence
-my creativity
-my quirky way of seeing the world
-my interest in philosophy
-my persistence/refusal to give up
-my spiritual view/my belief that every human soul is worth the same amount, infinity
-my compassion
-my friendly nature
-my ability to know that my emotions are irrational even though I can't change them
-my self-preserverence/ the fact that I've never actually attempted sui
-the fact that most people who give me a chance like me
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I like your list. Sometimes I make a list when I feel terrible. It seems to straighten out my thinking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Secretum
Earlier, I was reflecting on how people with BPD don't know who they are, and how while it might look like I'm that way (because I'm always changing career plans, etc) the truth is that I know who I am. And I know what I want to do. I want to help people with MI; I just don't know if I could do that best and least painfully as a psychiatrist, a psychologist, or a writer.
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People with BPD have profound identity problems. It is beyond not knowing what one's calling is. The BPD symptomology originates from it. They really have no idea who they are so they seek their identity from other people which is why they are always in relationships. It is very threatening to them when the other person leaves because they will lose the identity they have found. This usually causes suicidal ideation, threats and other impulsive behaviors such as drug use and binge eating. These are ways to cope with their overwhelming feelings.
Impulsivity, dysregulation of emotions (not mood), poor sense of identity, and fears of abandonment and being alone are core BPD traits. If you don't have these issues then you don't have BPD. A responsible clinician wouldn't diagnose the condition in person who lacks the core traits but self-injures and/or struggles with chronic suicidal ideation.
In the 1990s self-injury automatically meant a BPD diagnosis even if the person lacked the core traits. Now it is ubiquitous and doesn't mean one has BPD. There are often other causes for the behavior such as OCD and SSRIs.
Feeling empty and questioning your direction in life are symptoms of other conditions such as depression. Sometimes it takes people longer to figure out their calling. Some never do. There is no set cut-off and pattern to live unless one is determined to follow the majority which is an illusion in my opinion. It is so much better just to be yourself and follow your own path.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Secretum
I know who I am, I'm just complex. Like one of those beautiful roses that have different colored petals. I have some thorns, but I also have a beautiful flower. Then I started hating myself again, and I felt like someone had cut my flower off and I would never regrow it. I would always just an ugly, flowerless stalk with thorns on it.  But I feel better now. |
Being a complex person is perfectly okay. It is a part of who you are. I'm a complex person too so I know for sure it is perfectly okay to be one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Secretum
Thanks Didgee for sharing your experiences. It comforts me, knowing that someone else has gone through the same experience. And it turns out that you're not borderline, so maybe I'm not either, despite this reaction! I love what your mom told you. So comforting.
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Support from family and friends helps a lot. They helped me survive my misdiagnosis. Remember these are the people that see you at your best, worse and in-between. Clinicians usually see you at your worst and in one context the office or hospital, which isn't very revealing. Anyway, labels come with so many assumptions.
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Dx: Didgee Disorder
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