Secretum, have you talked to your family about your new possible diagnosis?

I was diagnosed bpd first and it killed me. It completely confused everything I thought I knew about myself. I convinced myself that's who I was and I reported symptoms that I thought I had that I actually didn't. Since I've been rediagnosed I've realised that you can convince yourself that your something your not.
But all the way through my mum told me she didn't believe it. She said she knew me and that it wasn't me. I used to think that meant that she didn't know me but now I know that she was right all along.

Do you have a close relationship with your family? If so I would get their opinion because they have seen you when youv been good and bad whereas therapists only see you at your worst.

On the other hand if you do have bpd it's nothing to be ashamed of. People with bpd feel enough guilt as it is without piling blame on for something that isn't their fault. Bpd is a result often of a invalidating environment as a child and that's something that's out of your control.

I hope you find some clarity