I'm very sorry to hear that. Everybody is deserving of love and care. That includes your family and children but also yourself. It made me sad to hear that you don't feel love from your family and you feel they are trying to hurt you. If one can't trust one's own family, who can we trust? If we are not loved by our own family, who can love us? Then I read just now you were adopted and grew up in an abusive family. Which is again, quite sad. I also understand also that you have an inner rage that's sometimes out of control. Which can be dangerous.

Just know there is help available and despite what is happened to you in the past, you can feel love, both towards others and love from others towards you. It takes work. But it doesn't mean love doesn't exist. It's there. But first step is to know you are a worthy human being, a person deserving of love and care and respect. And your feelings are valid.

Aside from people's recommendations for seeking help and make sure you and your family are both safe when you feel uncontrollable rage, I want to also add if you can work on communication skills training. I know a few people who have sort of similar tendencies and often they struggle with being heard or listened to and they also feel powerless in getting what they want. Powerlessness can sometimes feed into paranoia. I'm not sure the case with you, but if you take meds to help control the rage, make sure you get some kind of therapy and maybe work on different aspects to improve your present situation and also deal with effects of past abuse.
Good luck.