For over 20 years I have been fighting the battle of not wanting to go outside around people. For a time I was agoraphobic and could only drive to the county line and no further. That lasted for over a year and I gradually pushed myself through it. I didn't now know about my DID and I would not go to a therapist for help. I just kept reminding myself that I was not going to die through the entire ride over the county line. I managed to over come the behavior but it took over a year. For the last ten or so years I have been fighting to leave the house. When I was working full time I was overwhelmed with panic at times. I found ways during the day at work trying to not have to interact with anyone. I would hide in the bathroom when it became too much. I got laid off and retired early. It was a good thing because I was emotionally overwhelmed every time I had to go to work. I started calling in sick and taking personal days when it became too much. I have been employed on and off sense my layoff/retirement. I have a job that I work at three days a week. But I am having great difficulty getting out the door. I take medication but still my anxiety is overwhelming. I keep wanting to disappear, live in my car, and hide from the world. This thought is stronger than ever. If it wasn't for my dogs I think I would have done it already. I am exhausted by this constant battle within myself. I just don't want to be near people. I have talked to my t about these feelings. I don't know what was said. I just want to hide from the world.