Well update, and probably the end of this story line I'm a month in, on taking the citalopram. Still nice and calm, stable, didn't know life could be this way, not for me! Some evidence that it is mucking with my blood pressure, causing it to be a bit too high. Doc hasn't caught on to it being from the meds.....she's just thinking that due to my age, weight, smoking, blah blah blah, I need bp meds. I think I'll let her go on thinking that, and stay on the citalopram. Gonna be losing my medical insurance come January 1....but that's no real loss, as they haven't paid anything for me all year anyway. So.....remainder of medical issues will continue untreated.....but I'm sticking with my citalopram (and probably bp meds). Those I can find cheap enough to afford, even without insurance. Thanks to all who have journeyed with me on this....your outreach to me helped.