Apologies for this long post.
I have been seeing my T for about eight months.

Four days ago I had a dissociative episode in therapy. I have dissociated before but not in a long while and never with her.
I was telling T about a hurtful incident...an issue I think I have told her before. I wasn't sobbing or crying. I didn't realize I had "gone" until T said, "How are you feeling right now?" Then I wasn't sure for a few minutes until I discovered I had trouble talking and thinking.

I wasn't expecting to dissociate just from relating information. It felt embarrassing. It felt like having my clothes snatched off in public.

Now I'm scared to talk in therapy.

I am quietly freaking. Ok, I have emailed T that I am freaking.

She replied:

"Understand that it is a part of the process of handling trauma. It is not awful or bad, though it is difficult and disturbing to you. When we get together again this week, let's make a plan for what to do if it happens again...nothing big, just a word or two that signals your vulnerability so I respond with words in ways that help you feel more comfortable."

She told me I can decide whether I come to an appointment or talk, but she is hoping I come to the next appointment. She wants to develop a verbal signal with me to at least let me know she is seeing something out of the ordinary.

I will go to my appt. Friday but I am bringing questions:

1) If dissociating is a part of the process of handling therapy...and not awful or bad...is the goal to encourage dissociation or do we try not to dissociate?
2) How can you help me come back?
3) How do you know you can get me back?
4) What happens if I don't come back before the session is over?
5) How do we know I am safe to drive home?
6) Why would I leave some times and not others?
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Could you guys tell me how you deal with dissociation in therapy? Can you comment on any of these questions? Do you feel embarrassed when you dissociate in front of T?

Pre