Thank you all.

I had a test and it shows Im.not pregnent but its not 100% safe because I did it after 10 days but its recomended after 2 weeks at least.

I texted with my boyfriend again. He made me angry aagain. Like alwaus. He said- Im sorry you might be prehnent because of me but its not fault that you have addictions (what great unwanted pregnency on xanax after unwanted sex)

My girlfriends are suprised we are still together.

Laker I took him tto group therapy session (its unprofessional and free) and he said that he has no problems and his life is wonderful. Some weeks aago he said that that therapy cant help me with the factthat he wants sex with me but Im not. He thinks Im crazy and going to therapy means that we are more crazy, he thinks its useless.

HB, I dont tthink Im anxious, I almost have no emotions except being mad and annoyed and depressed. Its once a week to feel that I miss him because Im numb. Im not even anxious about possible pregnency, I imagine stories about horrible future but still feel emotionless. And its not because of xanax. I take xanax before sleep.

I think I should leave him. There are no reasons to stay with him except some kind of attachment and feeling Im losing someone and something, Im used to be with him and thats all. I forgive him but I wish I didnt.