I know that he knows that I know, because he seems to know everything often before I do.

I also know I cannot and will not say it. Not now, not ever, no way. Too hard, too embarrassing, too much over the top.

Letting him know i depend on him was hard enough, never mind>>>>>>well, you know.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

the complexities are mind boggling aren't they?