I know what it's like to not have any friends to rely on, I may have "friends" but to call on them is really hard so I would/still do is just further isolate myself and then I just feel even more alone and isolated from everyone, reality, my family, my cat, etc. You can and will be able to live life, we all will/have the opportunity to look back and see our struggles from a better place. There will be better days, that is a fact even though it feels like it won't end or that it's impossible to see the next day where it will get better, it will. Just yesterday and a couple days before that my mood took a hard dive and hit the bottom of the pool. I smacked face first into the concrete, in my living room surround by my cat, yet I still felt so alone and terrible, thinking that I should call a cab to drive me to the hospital, it was so terrible, then I had to go to work, I was crying and felt suicidal and all I did in my apartment was just trying to breathe through my tears and distracted myself with a podcast (This American Life, it's awesome totally worth the $3 or $4). As much as I don't like "Distress Tolerance" (DBT Talk) skills, stuff to distract you during crisis times, they do help you get from moment to moment, like after I listened to a great podcast I felt better and went to work, I was still feeling depressed, but I got myself through those really tough moments, went to work, FORCED myself to be around people (since I was crying and said I was suicidal to my boss, I was told I should go home, but I stayed …) and by the end of my shift I felt so much better, and it made me stronger since I forced myself to stay at work. I hope that some of this makes sense and helps you even if for just one moment. Just one moment to get to the next one. Are you going to therapy at all or see a psychiatrist ? Moment to the next moment.