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Originally Posted by Mid-Life-Larry
Wooops.... hold on a second, I NEVER EVER said i wanted to impose a rule on others. -- I am merely defending my right to be disgusted with the scenario presented in the original polling question: A 45yo man dating a 20yo.
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That's what you say, that you're only defending your right to be disgusted with it but in truth your judgement of others in this situation is in and of itself applying a personal value of your own and saying everyone should abide by it. By saying it's disgusting is a judgement and by principle that is stating that this is something that everyone should follow.
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Originally Posted by Mid-Life-Larry
The 45yo prob has kids, surely has baggage, and more than likely the beginning stages of arthritis.
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Seriously? 1. there are plenty of people who go through life without kids, and although I have them, I have known many friends in the same age group tht choose not to have children and wth does that have to do with it? So if someone has kids it makes it inappropriate for a younger person to date them? What about kids makes that inappropriate? Again, this is a personal choice and I think you're being narrow visioned in this way.
So only people that are older have baggage? Everyone has it whether mid life, young adult or elderly. That's a moot point because if you want to avoid baggage altogether from other people, you better avoid relationships completely.
Arthritis, really? WTF world do you live in where age = developing arthritis at all? And why is it even an issue? There are plenty of people in all age groups with health problems of all sorts. Age has very little to do with it. I'm 45+ but I have no signs of arthritis. I may develop it at some point but that's not related to my age but the fact that my mother had it and I believe it's hereditary. God I sure hope that having it at some point would not eliminate me from being "date-able" >.<
Again, being fair about burdening a younger person with any kinds of problems whether physically or baggage related is soemthing that is universal. Relationships in nature carry the burdens of the partner regardless of what they are. Again if someone wants to avoid the burdens of another person sstay out of relationships altogether.
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To me, it's like using power and position to gain the upper hand on a inexperienced or infatuated person.
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You can't say that. That may be or not be but has nothing to do with age. Being an older person than your partner carries no more power than being of the same age group. Nor do I believe this generalized stereotype is a fair one. it assumes that there is no other motivation for a person to date a person younger than them. As if there is no other reason they would be attracted to them. Of course it may be the case at times but I also would counter that with the fact that there are plenty of males (typically) that would seek to dominate a partner, of any age that dont' necessarily go for women younger than them but just submissive ones or who they perceive as such.
To your credit, everything you're saying, I will agree are considerations for someone to get into a relationship with a large age gap. Going blindly into a relationship of this type would be silly and these things definitely should be weighed and considered before doing it. In the end though, if they both understand the differences, it is up to the couple whether those things are worth dealing with in the relationship. There is no hard and fast rule to anything that you've mentioned, it's all just your perception that does not take into consideration the individuals involved in the relationship but assumes too many things.