If you're dx'd with bpd one of the stressors for you right now is going to be the fact that you are in a relationship in the midst of these thigns and it doesn't sound like he's that wonderfully supportive of your condition. that alone is not going to help. If he's staying with you, he needs to respect you if for the very least the reason he even has a place to stay. Just counter his 'you need to work" with "you need a place to stay..." implying he's not exactly the one carrying the weight of everything himself either. That should shut him up.