Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
My T gives me support and advice. He shares his thoughts and opinions - but his feelings are truly his own to keep to himself. We can't help how we feel about others, and I can't imagine trying to pressure him to share his feelings about me. It'd be taking too much of a risk to push him into either revealing things I don't want to know, or lying. So I wouldn't put that on him.
But his thoughts and opinions he shares with me - but those are his professional thoughts and opinons.
If I wanted his personal thoughts, opinions and feelings, then he wouldn't be my therapist - he would be a friend.
That said, the support and advice he gives me demonstrates a lot. The advice he gives are suggestions showing me his opinion on how he interprets my life and actions.
Therapists really do need to separate their professional-selves, and their personal-selves. If you're wanting her personal-self to be present then you'll probably be best moving on honestly, because that isn't fair to ask her as that's not her job. Sure, her professional and personal self would have lots in common, but if you want solely personal then that's a friendship.
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This is an excellent summary. If I was as articulate as you are, my post would have been almost identical to yours, but I guess I just wasn't able to make myself clear. Yes, my T's feelings about me would not be something I would like to know. I assume that any T who works with me doesn't actively dislike me, or else they wouldn't be able to work with me and that's just about all I need to know. Other than that, I am only interested in their honest thoughts and opinions about my situation provided that they come from a neutral observation, not from a moral judgment. Personal and professional for me are clearly separated and I would not want to mix them. That is not to say that kindness, respect and compassion are not a part of being a professional, because they are. There is no contradiction between treating a client with dignity, respect and kindness and relating to them professionally. It's the mutual sharing of feelings that breaks the professional boundary which is not ok with me. And, unfortunately, it is so common and so much normalized among professionals. It's almost like many of them go into the field to fulfill their own emotional needs they can't fulfill otherwise in their personal lives.