i think everyone has some level of regret in their lives...i try to remind myself that i can't change the past, but i can make different choices in the future...you are doing a great job of articulating what you are feeling...keep posting if it helps....but please do talk to your doctor...this site does not have any members who are qualified to make a diagnosis...if you feel nervous about talking to your doctor....you can print this off and bring it in....