Thank you for your input. Looks like you have horses, and that's one thing I worry about too. He'd never owned a horse in his life. I have for the last 32 years. My old one died, I sold another years ago, so the only horses we have are the ones we got during the marriage.....I have 6 in all. He would never want them, nor would he have a place to keep them, but I could see him trying to use them to hurt me. And, he would fight for our dog big time, before he'd fight for our kid. I hope it's a long way off yet, but I'm due for a decent inheritance, and part of me wonders if he sticks around for that. I live in a 50/50 state. Although I believe gifts and inheritances don't count if they are handled correctly. We are simply roommates. But, money is tight, and he continues to spend. He secretly opened up his own account years ago, and has a sum automatically deducted from his paycheck and put in there every week. "play money." But here I am, fighting to pay the bills, while he has this personal account. Whenever we argue, I bring that up, and he says "all you have to do is ask." Um, no. I did once, Asked for some of "his" money to help pay the bills, and I got nagged for a good log time because "I" didn't have the money to "pay him back." We've been married 14 years. Aside from the money issue, there's the piss poor father issue, and there are others I just don't want to say "out loud." I had a hard enough time telling my T about it. I dream of a time where I can just be independent and self sufficient. Last spring, I opened my own checking and savings account, and have not told him. There's not much in it....barely worth keeping track of, but I figured I'd better have my own account set up. I have also taken his name off of the vet clinic accounts, etc etc. We really don't argue. He doesn't abuse me mentally or physically, I should be counting my blessings. But there's no connection there....and I'm afraid he's going to drive me to bankruptcy if things continue the way they are. He'll talk about something he wants....I will have to tell him we just dont' have the money, and eventually, he goes out and gets it anyway, eventually. And he's constantly sneaking around on the computer, makes me wonder what he's looking into NOW.....I told him after the loan in April, I will NEVER be able to trust him again. and you bet your *** I meant it. I am also quite sure I would never get married again.