Thank you for your feed back, I know everyone has there story and I don't like to judge. M and I recently had a big falling out and for reasons I really don't want to get into we need to get along on some level so I'm just trying to figure out how. It's been over 20 year of this. She also tends to make "outsiders" the bad guy (my husband for example) she makes snap judgements and doesn't like people. She's extreamly rasict, she hardly leaves her house. She also always talks about loyalty, she sees me getting along with my inlaws as disloyal to her because I have complained about them (no one gets along 100% with their inlaws that's just life) I'm rambling now and I know you are just gonna say be done with her but I promise you this is complicated and I really do have to keep her in my life, even just at arms reach and occasionally. Thank you so much for your feed back.