I divorced one of those 12 years ago, after 31 years of misery, and then I found the "key"----no response; when they disrespect you, etc (as in the house thing); they want to drag you into a stupid argument. They don't care what you think or feel, so any communication about thoughts, feelings, etc...is wasted on them; the only care about their own feelings. I never found a way to stop how I felt when hurt, but I DID find a way to NOT responding to disrespect; when you do that (you "feed") the vampire; they need a constant "fix" of you explaining yourself...that is the secret........ responding to insanity just validates the abuser. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life.

Abusers are excruciatingly INsecure.