I hope this helps.

People who go into counseling do care. To get an education in counseling is a very personal investment of time and emotion, so I believe your therapist did care, and deeply about what is happening to you.

Furthermore I think she did the right thing following a protocol that was obviously already in place. It wasn't done to punish you, but to help you. Sometimes help seems like a jigsaw puzzle. As patients/clients we cannot always see the pieces coming together.

If people who struggle with addiction could set their shame aside, they could see their condition as serious but treatable and allow the professionals and other support to help. It is worrisome that someone with addiction believes he or she needs to self-medicate in order to get through the day. It is worrisome if you have not told your doctor what you are doing and that the prescription was not/is not helping.

I believe recovery is possible, even if the process is not pleasant.

I hope you get the right balance of medical support and therapeutic support. If you don't succeed in breaking your addiction right away, keep trying. There is no one size fits all solution; keep trying until you find what works for you. Courage!