It sounded like mixed emotions within your thread here.....know it's touch when you even have some connection with them. It's even more difficult when they are in the same house....& if they don't have a place to go (or at least they feel like they don't)
My H would never take any action until forced into action. I knew for me my only way out was to LEAVE but ended up leaving with pretty much nothing of what we accumulated over those 33 years.
I know that I hoped that drawing the line & making it final....I had hoped that it would be a knock over the head for change.....& it was really frustrating (just like the whole previous 33 years) that it didn't make any difference.....but I have come to realize with researching Asperger's that is what I have been dealing with for all these years.
For me the true test of how I felt about him was when I did leave.....they always said that absence makes the heart grow fonder & I didn't even miss him...I actually felt a wonderful relief & a peace.
Hope all goes well when your divorce finally goes through