Wow. That sounds like a bad session. Some might say I'm a fellow addict, but I like to think of myself as someone who ultimately does have control, that just has had some harmful habits at times, some of which involved using substances to help with extreme emotions like anxiety and depression. If I were in your shoes I would be hurt, and I would look for a better therapist. I'm not familiar with the effects of valium, but were you stumbling around possibly, were you "stoned"? If not, my opinion is your ex-therapist was both extreme and unwarranted in her brutal approach with you. Most likely all this means is she didn't have enough experience as a therapist, or maybe just knows nothing about "addiction" to be able to deal with you. She was sending a very clear message 'I don't know how to help you, goodbye.' For example I once came to a session actually stoned, I was nervous before hand so took a few hits... my therapist asked me not to do it again. There was no need to throw me out or be extreme about it.

I wonder whether people "really care" about me all the time. I think it's just part of the wound of being an abused kid, you grow up with low self-esteem and self-worth and are desperate for any love and attention. After a few sessions, because of the way you were treated, it's hard to say she showed a lot of caring. I'm not saying she certainly didn't care, she might just be severely misguided. Whatever her thoughts were if you find a therapist you click better with and invest some time I'm sure you will find real caring. Everyone is lovable, even hardcore for real addicts. Anyways, I like your thought that if they don't really care they cant know you. I think it's hard to truly know a person and not care for them, unless they are a sociopath.

Most therapists won't see you under the influence, however I'm guessing you weren't wasted on 5mg valium you were using for anxiety... I know my therapist wouldn't have thrown you out like that, but again mine has a lot of experience working with addiction.