It could be overwhelming when you try to do it all at once, and when one tries to heal trauma, slow and steady wins the race. You can talk to your T about your reactions after the sessions exactly like you talk about it here and explain to her what the problem is, and she should help you find ways to process your emotional material safely without getting overwhelmed. .

Hi Mindful Moment,

I had the exact same problem you are having for a pretty long time! I would be OK in session, and then the emotional pain etc. would hit me a few hours later. Sometimes, it would stay with me all week, making me feel anxious, and like I needed to keep emailing my t. For awhile, I don't think she understood what was happening and she may have wondered "Why didn't you bring this up in session?" It may have looked like I was just attention seeking or wanting extra unpaid time from her, but it was nothing like that. It was all about how my reactions to what we talked about in session would be delayed. It wouldn't hit that bad until later, and then I would have SO MUCH trouble trying to put it all away.

What my t ended up doing with me is this. Every single time after my session, she would have me do a visual exercise of taking anxiety, concerns, or upsetting subjects that we had not yet discussed and put them into some kind of a container, lock it, and then leave it all in there. She would do this with me every time, whether I felt like I was triggered or not. Also, she would give me a couple of things to do if the triggered emotions came up during the week. It sounds weird, but what it basically amounts to is this:

When I notice the emotional turmoil coming up, insteadd of getting fearful and pushing it away OR letting myself ruminate on it, she wanted me to (1) listen to what emotions, thoughts, and fears were coming up, (2) accept that I was feeling that way, and that it's OK, (3) reassure myself that we will have time later on, in my session, to address all of the scary and upsetting things that were coming up for me, then (4) imagine putting all of that distress away, into that container again, and locking it. She told me that if the distress comes up again, do the same thing again. As many times as necessary.

One additional thing I sometimes do is, after going through the 4 steps, I imagine taking that upset part of myself and putting it into a safe place. The safe place can be anything that feels safe and calming for that part of you that is feeling so overwhelmed. It can be a place in nature that is soothing, or anything that feels calming to you.

If it feels like a small part of you that is reacting, you can picture taking her to her room and tucking her safely into bed, while reassuring her that she is safe, everything is OK, and that there is nothing at all she needs to worry about right now. Tell her that you will help her with all of her worries and concerns later on, but now it is time for her to rest. If you resist tucking her into bed, because you haven't developed enough empathy yet to want to soothe that part of yourself, you could just picture leading her to her room filled with toys, stuffed animals, and whatever else a child would enjoy.

If the hurting part of you feels older, like a teenager, you could picture her room with a record player, a TV, magazines, or whatever. . .or picture letting her engage in some activity she loves, like maybe dropping her off at the mall or the movies.

If you experience emotional pain as the adult you are, then you might do something that would soothe an adult, such as take a soothing bath, get a massage, watch funny movies, or whatever would soothe you and help those chaotic feelings subside.

The key is to PRACTICE doing this. Over time, you will teach yourself that your therapy session is the time to work on your emotional pain, and when the session is over, it is time to soothe and put away your distress so you can focus on your life outside therapy. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I am much better able to "put things away" now at the end of my session and then to "contain and soothe" when triggers pop up between sessions. I can function much better now and wait until my session to discuss difficult things. Instead of bad things popping up all during the week, I've learned to train my mind to wait unti lthe appropriate time to discuss my pain. And now that I don't allow my mind to ruminate and stress out all week, when I finally get to my session, those feelings and thoughts are ready to come out and share AT my session.

I hope some of this might help you. It's the only thing that has started working for me, that helps me keep calm and focused between sessions without everything in my mind spilling out all over the place and making me feel anxious and needy. I find, too, that the better I get at containing and calming myself, the less I feel the need to contact my t between sessions for support.