I'm not an addict, so I can't come from that place. I do DBT, however, and we're told not to come under the influence of anything (although we are to take medications as prescribed and if something does seem to be influencing us, they tell us that they may ask us to see our doctor and come to a compromise).

The model I see in DBT is one of compassion, as I know I have addicts in my therapy group. There are strict rules and at the same time they aren't enforced to the point of rejection. They're enforced with open communication and a level of kindness. Throwing you out of therapy seems very... cold. Definitely her response is *somewhat* understandable to me and at the same time it seems, at the same time, somewhat unhelpful.

If you have that much anxiety, it seems like therapies to teach coping mechanisms maybe warranted and also a conversation with your doctor about what you might be able to take to help keep the anxiety at bay. It would seem to me that taking a medication that you weren't prescribed can lead you down that dark road of addiction again and I imagine, as I have seen addicts in my own life go clean, that you put in an incredible amount of effort to get there.