Oh yikes.... I'm sorry Hvert. That guy just sounds worse and worse the more you interact with him! I hate to say this... but have you looked at any other possibilities for income (either contracting with another company, or looking for another job)?

So I had to take this online course in "negotiating" this morning for work (nope, I don't negotiate at work, they just like to make us take tons of classes!) One interesting thing that came out of it was this idea that when you're negotiating, you should know what your best alternative is to the deal. If you were already in a job, for example, and were negotiating for a new one - if the new company doesn't offer you more money than your current job, your best alternative might be to keep your old job (obviously, there could be other factors here, but you probably get the gist).

One thing they stressed is that you can and should work to *improve* your best alternative, because when you negotiate, that opens you up to getting more in the negotiation. If your current job pays $50k, then you'll likely take a new job that pays $55k. But, if you negotiate a raise at your current job to $60k, your backup plan is now better.

I don't know why I'm writing all this out. I guess when I read what you've written, I get the sense that there's no backup plan, no good alternative. It feels like you might just get sucked into this job, despite all the warning signs that this guy is going to be an awful horrible person to work for. I don't want to tell you not to take the job (because we've all got to pay the rent and put food on the table!) but... yikes, it makes me feel a little nervous for you!

Anyway, sorry if I'm poking too much! Or doing too much problem solving. Job stuff is pretty awful, and I find it really frustrating too - it feels like our entire culture is set up with the expectation that we'll take awful jobs, suck it up, and somehow just devote our entire lives to bad bosses and bad jobs and be grateful for the opportunity to pay for overpriced stuff. Bleh. I guess it's a sensitive point for me

And, thanks for the good wishes! I'm a little nervous for tomorrow! My friend assured me that it's going to be very informal, this woman she works with is very kind and nice, and that I can be honest about any concerns I've got, because we all want to make sure it's a good fit. I guess I get nervous knowing that my friend has talked me up - and I don't want to disappoint anyone! But, I am grateful that they're coming in with an already positive image of me (and I have the same positive image of them), so hopefully that will help. I think I'd be less nervous if my current job wasn't feeling so awful too - because my "best alternative" (keeping my job) definitely does not feel like the "best" of anything!!!

Keep me posted, especially if you get in touch with your friend! Good luck!