Hi pink villa,
Many here are suffering like you. This place is a good one, you will find support and good peer advice. In my experience, it is not the bday, the age, etc. it is about depression. Like bday is the flesh but depression is the bones. It is a condition, and, damn!, we need to understand it is not our fault or it is not we are failure. I hope you stay with us to find some relief and friendship. A hug