Ambra- do they really care though, or is it their job to show caring. How much of what I get is a performance, a performance of listening and a performance of caring? It was painful for me to be there so it would make sense it's painful for him to be around it. Plus, it's not just him, it's that he's everything, the only source of "caring." I think he's really making it difficult for me on purpose lately, and it sucks to feel this fragile, and I'm not sure what the point is. I know it's a business relationship, I pay the bill.

I think this is why "business relationship" was so hard to swallow, because it implies performance by him. We are no longer just two people talking, we are one person talking and one person performing a service of pretending to listen and care. What's more, even at $100 an hour I'm painful to be around, it might be preferable for him to be anywhere else than sitting there with me.