So my mom text me this morning saying that my dog, Lily, had died last night. I'm not sad, but happy and relieved.

When I first got Lily, she was my 'baby girl' and my 'princess'. I had rescued her from going to the pound when she was a few months old. After about 6 years though, she had developed this odd itch. She would constantly itch herself to the point to where she would itch herself raw and even bleed sometimes.

My mom refused to take her to the pound, because she said it was just allergies. Well after the season changed, she blamed it on food allergies, so after we switched her food and waited another few months to see improvement, she still kept itching.

Ill put it simply, we couldn't afford the vet. So we tried many different things in replacement of the vet. Different natural and herbal remedies, and OTC medications. Nothing worked.

She had been itching herself more than she didn't itch herself. It got disgusting. It got to the point to where I couldn't stand being around her cause she'd just itch.

About 2 years ago or so, I had begun praying every night that she would die. We couldn't afford a vet (and we weren't going to go in debt trying to pay a vet tons of money that we didn't have, when their were more important priorities like my medical issues I deal with; which are, in fact, deadly). We wanted to send her to the pound, hoping that she would get proper treatment, but when we split her and her sister up, her sister would become restless.

I then, thought of the idea of putting her down, but my mom said she wasn't going to pay for that cause it was a 'sick' idea. She said if I wanted to pay for it, I can feel free too. But putting her down was going to cost $150, and I didn't have a job, therefore, no way for me to pay for it, which my mom knew.

I wish we put her down years ago. I hated seeing her itch herself to death. Suddenly, about 2 years ago, she began losing a ton a weight. So we doubled her food and constantly gave her treats and special herbal enzymes.

The only thing is, is that she didnt seem like she was in pain. Her tail would wag if I had treats or when I came home, she would go crazy jumping all over me. That was my moms main defense in not putting her down. She genuinely seemed happy and I do think that she was content with her life. Back in the day, we would always go camping with them. They loved it. We would go to a dry lake bed and ride dirt bikes, and they would be off their leashes going crazy (or we would hook them up to a very long leash so they can roam around the campsite).

I just received a text from my mom *about 1 minute ago* saying that she buried her out where we used to camp with them all the time. After reading that, I did cry a little bit. But I'm just relieved. I loved her very much. We tried everything except taking her to the vet. Im sure some animal activists will come and comment 'You deserve to die for how you treated her/avoiding treating her' or whatever, but we showed her nothing but love. We tried a lot of things, they just didn't work/work as well. We don't know why Lily turned out so bad, she had a sister who we treated the same (when it came to love, attention, and the amount of food she ate) and her sister is perfectly healthy. When we went to get them both checked out by the vet (and to ask how much it would cost to fix Lily) the vet said that Lily's health wasn't the greatest, but her sisters, for some reason was probably the definition of good health in a dog. I loved her so much, she will always be my 'baby girl'. But I'm relieved that her itching has stopped, cause I hated how she would itch herself to the point she'd bleed. Towards the end, she would itch herself every minute of the day.