Cheatedon - I read every word of this thread because parts of it are too familiar, and no one has offered my perspective - I am more similar to your husband in some ways. I cheated on my now-fiance several times with different people. Because they were attractive and I wanted to see if I could get with them, and because I was drunk or manic. Never if I was sober, though that doesn't make it excusable. Well I don't know your husband, but for me, if I am in a bad place, I also outwardly brush off compliments and kind words, but they mean the world to me. I resisted medication for my bipolar disorder - even in the throes of psychosis, mania, and major depression. But my fiancé kept at it. He pushed me until I hated him, I truly did, but once I felt better I loved him even more for not giving up.

I had correspondence with people I had cheated with, and tried to hide the screen similarly to your husband.

What my fiancé did that worked was just keep trying. He just kept calm and steered me towards treatment as much as he could. I would start medications, then stop them, countless times, on various meds. But if I couldn't give a real reason (I.e. blurry/worsening vision, splitting headache), he would try to make me take it until I felt better. Which was awful, until I felt better, and then I couldn't believe I was getting by with excuses to myself like "I don't feel right on the medicine."

I don't know if that helps, obviously the situations aren't totally analogous, but nobody else has offered a viewpoint on your husband's side.