For me it wasn't so black and white. I would start out committed to being faithful, then sleep with someone because they were cute and I happened to be in a bad place. Eventually that stopped, but if I was in a bad place, I would send someone a picture or start a sexually themed conversation. Then I stopped myself from that, and now if I'm in a bad place, which doesn't happen so often anymore, I text/email/call an old flame but nothing sexual is discussed, it's a just friends conversation, which still makes my fiancé uncomfortable, so I'm still working on avoiding that.

It was never a back and forth, more like I love my man and want so desperately to be faithful to him, but when I'm sad and he's not making me feel better (because he works 40hrs per week and is attending school, so limited time) I reach out to others, and that used to be in a sexual way, because that was the quickest way to feel validated, now it's platonic only, and I'm still working on steering away from old flames.